tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post112434772331479465..comments2023-05-11T12:49:17.550-03:00Comments on Salt and Ice: ProcessJohnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08821143429836966690noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1125252715374511742005-08-28T15:11:00.000-03:002005-08-28T15:11:00.000-03:00Hi, why oh why do i like the first, (is this the e...Hi, why oh why do i like the first, (is this the embarrassing one?) version best?<BR/><BR/>YvetteAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1125012045239397222005-08-25T20:20:00.000-03:002005-08-25T20:20:00.000-03:00Thanks, Brenda, that's an enormously helpful sugge...Thanks, Brenda, that's an enormously helpful suggestion.<BR/><BR/>I've thought about prose for this piece, and it's something I've done with other narrative poems that weren't working for me in verse, but the "forced" aspect you identify, John, is I think something that has to be maintained--tho I'd identify it as "heightened artificiality"--as a formal perquisite of this particular poem. And Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124896973259353282005-08-24T12:22:00.000-03:002005-08-24T12:22:00.000-03:00Zach, I think it would work wonderfully in the for...Zach, I think it would work wonderfully in the form of a prose poem, though this certainly works. Are the last four lines necessary? They're a bit summary-like and somewhat constrictive, closing the poem too tightly. The poem would be far more powerful if it ended with "and I swallowed."Brenda Schmidthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03576550905189206215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124684359045670342005-08-22T01:19:00.000-03:002005-08-22T01:19:00.000-03:00That's a short story, Zach, not a poem. Try it as ...That's a short story, Zach, not a poem. Try it as prose, it feels way too forced in the form it's in.Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08821143429836966690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124660496336179512005-08-21T18:41:00.000-03:002005-08-21T18:41:00.000-03:00A timely post for me, John. I'm somewheres between...A timely post for me, John. I'm somewheres between you and George. I usually hammer out a messy draft or two (or more if I'm away from home) on paper, occasionally working from notes, but usually not, then start mucking about on the computer, sometimes keeping versions, but more often than not losing track of what I changed when. I say timely for me because the last couple of days I've been Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124552931662920342005-08-20T12:48:00.000-03:002005-08-20T12:48:00.000-03:00Your notebook certainly is neat, quite unlike the ...Your notebook certainly is neat, quite unlike the inked chaos that is mine.Brenda Schmidthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03576550905189206215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124469858163176892005-08-19T13:44:00.000-03:002005-08-19T13:44:00.000-03:00Thanks, Ross. The first scan was after a 40 minute...Thanks, Ross. The first scan was after a 40 minute walk to work in May.<BR/><BR/>George, I think that's the first time in my life I've ever been accused of being organized. (I just find that doing it the way I do it helps when I start to overwork a poem — I can go back and see where I went off the rails.)Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08821143429836966690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124464833950958432005-08-19T12:20:00.000-03:002005-08-19T12:20:00.000-03:00You're so damn organized. My book is just line aft...You're so damn organized. My book is just line after line of notes and then I compose on the screen, drawing from the notes. <BR/><BR/>So I'll never have this progression thing, unless I collate all the various printouts and hand edits I do on each version.<BR/><BR/>I just can't just quality unless I see it in a serif font.<BR/><BR/>GGMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14663103545444712062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10107496.post-1124389428281768882005-08-18T15:23:00.000-03:002005-08-18T15:23:00.000-03:00Beautiful.I see the first scan as the first time i...Beautiful.<BR/><BR/>I see the first scan as the first time in the cage, maybe indoors, in deepest darkest January.RossKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07677239332112652522noreply@blogger.com